Because we were open to transracial adoption (simply put: adopting outside of our race), we were required by our adoption agency to read several books on this topic. They showed scenarios that were eye-opening. Why teaching her culture was important. Who she saw in a mirror might conflict with how she felt. How my child would be treated in a store would depend on whether she accompanied me or not.
I believe all of the books were written by adoptive parents.
I don’t want to discredit the voices of these parents, because I am one and as such I can learn from them, but where were the voices of the transracial adoptee? I’ve done a lot of research of my own since, and I have found the voices of many adult transracial adoptees here on the blogosphere.
John Raible, Angela Tucker, Land of a Gazillion Adoptees, among many others. Somebody get these people a publishing agent! No, seriously, their stories need to be read by potential transracial adoptive parents.
(To our adoption agency’s credit, they are showing Raible’s and Tucker’s documentaries.)
My heart BREAKS to hear what is happening to members of my daughter’s race in the United States of America. Michael Brown, John Crawford, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner. These are just a few of the black men who aren’t alive today because of the color their skin.
I was raised to trust the police. (I am Caucasian.) If I have a problem, I give them a call. They’ll come and listen to me. If I have a need, they will rush to my rescue. They patrol the streets, and they do not scare me.
In contrast, one of our neighbors does not trust the police. He got into an altercation this summer with some people he knew. He later shared that he didn’t want to call the police because he didn’t trust them. (He is African American.) The next morning, these two men he had fought with came to his house with guns to retaliate. Nobody was injured, and the no-gooders (they are white) were put in jail because our neighbor’s mother called the police. I wonder, how could this have been prevented had he called the police the night before?
How do these stories of police brutality and mistrust relate to transracial adoption? Read these links:
As a mother, I worry about my daughters’ futures and how they will unfairly be treated differently simply based on their skin color. I don’t know if I can adequately prepare them for what lies ahead, but here are the two things I know. I must keep listening to the voice of the transracial adoptee, and that you need to listen too.