Adoption: A placement doesn’t have to be good-bye

Yesterday we had the great joy of reuniting with someone very special to our family.  She’s kind of a big deal.  You see, without Tee, we wouldn’t be the family we are today.

Nearly two years ago we met briefly.  She was entrusting us to raise her daughter.  It was awkward.  It was emotional.  She asked, out of the blue, if she could have a reunion visit.  The social workers said we didn’t have to agree.  They said if we gave an inch, she’d take a mile.  But how could we say no?  “Yes,” we cried.  Tee said that we wouldn’t even have to identify her as our daughter’s biological mother.  That we couldn’t agree to.  Our daughter would know her.

The plan was to meet her at the adoption agency where we first met.  We weren’t sure if she’d be coming alone as we had asked her to bring family members if she wanted.  She brought her mother and her oldest daughter.

It went really, really well. I knew by name her mother and daughter without having to be introduced. I think sharing as many photos as we have gave us the sense of knowing each other. We were comfortable and easily shared stories.

We learned so much to share with Wren when she’s older. Her love for spicy for comes from her mother who enjoyed curry during her pregnancy (read the last paragraph of this post!!). She is so much like her sisters, in beautiful looks and humorous personality.

We were able to get feedback on the letters we’ve been writing. She asked that we send duplicate photos since her extended family members are always taking some.  We asked if she would be open to direct yet anonymous communication, but she wasn’t.  I think that was my only disappointment as I had found communicating through two middlemen cumbersome.  However, I can respect her decision.

Before we went to this meeting, another social worker (in this case, my sister) warned that Tee might want more visits.  We honestly don’t see how this would be a bad thing.  We’re hoping that yesterday won’t be the only visit.  We want it to be the first of many.  We want our daughter to know her.

 

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2 thoughts on “Adoption: A placement doesn’t have to be good-bye

    • I share for two reasons. First, I am chronicling for Wren who is too young right now to understand. Secondly, I want to encourage other adoptive families to be open with themselves and their children about adoption.

      Your kind words are heartening.

      Reply

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