It’s been hard for me to think of a new subject so please forgive me for continuing along the thoughts of adoption. This process has been consuming for us. It’s determined our activities of late (doctor visits and a trip to the sheriff’s office for finger printing, for example). It’s also added new books to our reading list (Raising Adopted Children and The Open Adoption Experience both by Lois Ruskai Melina … among others). It’s even introduced us to a new brewery (at least it’s not all tedious stuff!).
This weekend, we completed a two-day training about adoption which was an informative class. The subject material was not much different from everything we’ve been reading so far, so it felt a little redundant. However, it was good to learn first hand stories about adoption from adoptees, adopters and a birth mother who were there.
I entered the training wondering if adoption was really the right choice for everyone involved. I’m trying to be considerate of the birth mother, and above all, I want her to make the right decision. I don’t want someone else to make it for her. I left knowing it is a hard decision for her, and my eyes were definitely opened to a semi-open adoption with the possibility of an open relationship down the road. This can work for everyone.
The adult adoptees shared their experiences of learning they were adopted and then their adventures later in life trying to connect with their birth parents. The adopters who spoke had an open relationship with some birth mothers, even inviting the women into their homes like extended family members. Although this was not always successful in each situation, they were glad that their children could connect with their past.
I am hesitant about sharing my adoption process with the world, but one of the social workers actually encourages blogging. This is our life now. That’s not to say we aren’t busy with anything else, but this adoption process adds to the juggling act we call life.
The only bad thing that has happened so far is that I had a bad reaction to my TDAP vaccine. (The tetanus shot now includes a vaccine for Pertussis, or whooping cough, which is important for people around young children to have.) It did clear up with antibiotics, but I still have a nice welt. I recognize that this is nothing compared to the woman who will be carrying a child for nine months and struggling with her decision to terminate her rights. The woman who will have bloated feet, an aching back, and suffer a great loss.
We’ve been busy preparing our home for the baby. State law mandates we child proof our home, so I bought a kit from Lowe’s on Saturday with 24 outlet covers and several door handle grips. These will be installed throughout the week. Okey is moving his office downstairs, and we’ve been given so many things already by his parents and his brother for the baby. (I think I have the best in-laws, but Okey disagreed. We then agreed we both have the best in-laws. Sorry, everyone else.)
Thank you for reading, and thank you for your support. It means the world to us.